My friend got divorced last year. She and her husband came to an agreement (he had got them heavily into debt through fraud) that she would take over his debts if she could keep the house. Thsi would keep him from jail. They also agreed to a sum for maintenance - he suggested it, she agreed to it. She earns a good salary, but she needs every penny. He did not want to put his pay slips in front of a judge.
He has suddenly decided to have the children more often (beforehand it was always a battle to get him to see them once a week, for two hours) and has had them overnight. She was away on a business trip for a week, and he had them, plus wanted them during the school holidays.
And now we know why. She's got a call, saying that he has applied to reduce his maintenance, as he has moved in with a single mother who has two children. The maintenance will now be decided on a salary, after the reduction, and based on how many weeks he has had the children in the last five weeks.
They haven't even been divorced a year. Surely the privately arranged agreement should stand? She will now really struggle, and of course, once this has gone through, he will go back to his old ways of not seeing the children.
They are not his children. Their mother works, and they have a father who is responsible for them. My friend is on her own.
tha dude - you're right. She would have been better off financially, if he'd gone to jail. But she's always made excuses for him, he was a loving husband and father, despite a hidden life.
Skiddoo: it was a private arrangement, which he has now decided to put before the CSA - is it the Pensions who deal with maintenance now? And they only look at the last five weeks, not what has gone on before.
Jackie - he earns much more than she does. He's the manager of a large supermarket - she's taken part time jobs to care for the kids. He doesn't pay that much in maintenance. She wasn't vindictive in any way, shape or form.
Gunslinger - you're right on one point. I did a bit of checking and I think my friend is wrong on the "five week" point. But I'm afraid, I was a single mother, and I see how single mothers struggle. Not all single mothers are saints, neither are their former husbands. And I hope that the courts put the kids first. Not the mothers or the fathers.
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