I'll try to keep it short, Ive been married for 3 years together for 5, were both in late 20's, since i met him he has always had financial problems which he makes up what i now no are lies for his debt problems (he was married before) I was very financially sound when i met him but am now in debt also due to funding him, last year we decided (or i did) to combine our income and get a joint bank account i was hoping that i would be able to keep his finances under control, he doesn't seem to buy anything but never has any money and he keeps going over drawn which incurs charges his family mentioned his bandit habbit and when i thought about it he does like to spend alot of time on them when were out etc maybe he is doing that also while at work or on days off. I kept a close eye on our account and noticed he takes a min of £30 out a day for work even tho he takes sandwiches etc and there was random cheques coming out all the time for £100 which once i investigated found out he was
Cashing cheques at ramsdens pawn shop and post dating them for the month after! After a lot of digging I found out this has been going on for years and he cashes on average £600 per month!!! Then they come out the month after so we are skint and he cashes more but he doesn?t put the money he cashes into the bank that gets spent god knows where, he got a loan recently of 5k he said he would pay off his existing loan of 3.5k then use the rest to make some alterations to the kitchen, we did the kitchen then a while later I found out that he didn?t even pay the other loan and the money was gone!!! He said its just due to overspending in general at the supermarket etc but I can?t see that and now we have two loan payments plus a mortgage plus a car payment which we just can?t afford,
we both earn good wages but until I found out about the cheques don?t know where it all goes and he constantly lies to cover up, I went mad with him last month and said he must have a gambling problems which he denys and he said he would never cash another cheque ever again and from now on we would be very careful with our money, then the other day he seemed to have a lot of cash on him which I knew he hadn?t taken from the bank so I went through his bag (I know I shouldn?t but I just had to know) I found a statement from ramsdens showing that he had cashed £500 pounds worth of cheques this month!!!!! He is denying this even tho its there in black and white and even got aggressive with me.
I?m sick of his lies I have my son to think about he is 10 and from a previous relationship but looks on my husband as his dad.
I just don?t see a future with him if he will not admit he has a problem and I am so sick of having no money and having to borrow from family, what should I do we have argued so much about his money situation throughout the five years but it gets me know where he just gets better at lying not better at dealing with him.
Sorry for going on I hope you can help, plus I should add he always has a pocket of pound coins he used to take my cash card when I had a separate bank and withdraw money then deny it, he maxed out all my credit cards and his own I just don?t see any light at the end of the tunnel
Please help thank you xx
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